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I Don’t Know How To Go On — Voices In My Mind

I Don’t Know How To Go On

by dee on March 6, 2006

On February 23rd, 2006 my Brother-in-law turned 27 years old.  On February 27th, he chose to end his life.  There are so many questions and very few answers as to why he made that choice.  Right now, it still feels like a very bad dream that I will wake up from.  I know in my head that it is real and I have to deal with it, but it is so hard.  I loved him so much and he is gone forever.

Today I’m back at work, but it just doesn’t feel right to be here.  Everything is different now.  Everyone else is the same, but I am different and I just don’t know how to go on.

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{ 7 comments }

1 island Jen March 6, 2006 at 12:42 pm

Please accept my most sincere condolences on the loss of your brother in law.
((hug))

2 lynne March 6, 2006 at 2:20 pm

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Suicide is more painful than other deaths imho because the living are left wondering what was going through the person’s mind. I spent several years of my life working with suicidal people…often people who had made unsuccessful attempts. One of the most important things I learned is that ultimately, the only person who can keep someone from killing themselves is the suicidal person themselves. In other words, there is probably nothing you could have done or said differently that would have changed things.

Usually when a person gets suicidal, they are suffering from a mental illness, usually depression. I know that when people I know have done this, I have gotten really angry with them. Reminding myself that their actions were almost certainly a result of an illness has helped me to forgive them.

You’ll be in my thoughts.

3 Alicia March 6, 2006 at 3:43 pm

Dee I’m so sorry for your loss. Especially for your sister. Please let me know if you need to talk. (((Dee)))

4 cagey March 7, 2006 at 3:24 pm

Oh God. I am so shocked to read this.

I am so, so sorry for your loss and will be thinking of you and your family.

5 wiccachicky March 7, 2006 at 3:52 pm

Oh my gosh!!! I am so sorry D!!! There is nothing really to say that can be helpful…I had a friend make this choice in high school and it was an awful experience. Make some time for yourself – and your family – that’s important.

6 Jenn March 8, 2006 at 7:46 am

I’m stunned at the news. I can’t really even come up with something coherent to say right now.

I’m sorry seems so woefully inadequate, but please know my thoughts & prayers are with you right now.

It’s tough to lose someone you love to a suicide.

Please know if you need to talk, I’m here.

*hugs* to all of you!

7 Pammer March 8, 2006 at 9:22 pm

Oh, my goodness. I am so very sorry for you and your family. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.

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