Bullying in Kindergarten

by dee on September 15, 2010

IMG_8892

One month in the public school system and I’m ready to bring my babies home, lock the doors for good, and home school them until they’re 25.  Please note that it has nothing to do with the teaching.  I do believe that my son has an excellent teacher, probably the best that I could ask for.  He’s excited to learn.  It amazes me how much he has picked up on over the last four weeks.

He was flipping through a book last night  as I was putting laundry away, pointed to a word and said, “Mommy, that says ‘me’!”  Indeed it did.  He was so pleased with himself, and so was I.  He is a smart kid and so willing and ready to learn.

I knew kindergarten would be hard.  I knew there would be adjustments to make.  I knew he would be tired and that he most likely would come home with a new sassy attitude that he would pick up from his peers.  I was somewhat prepared for that.

What I wasn’t prepared for was him getting picked on.  I wasn’t prepared for my little bitty 5-year-old to come home telling me that a kid pushed him down and his foot was hurting because of it, or that another kid tried to push his head into the toilet, or that a kid was pushing him every time they got in line, or that another kid “spanked” him in the restroom.  I especially wasn’t prepared for him to tell me that he was the one that got in trouble for it all because the other kid ran ahead and told the teacher that Zachary did it first.

I can’t say that Zachary wasn’t at fault.  I would be almost certain that he’s not telling 100% of the truth because he’s afraid he’ll be in trouble at home too.  I know he has pushed back, hit, and even on one occasion bit another kid, but I’m guessing that most of the time it was provoked.  He’s not an aggressive kid and most of the time tends to shy away from confrontation.

Yes, I’ve talked to the teacher.  Notes have been sent home.  E-mails have been exchanged.  I’m currently waiting on her to get back to me regarding a meeting time so we can discuss this whole thing again.  I’m willing to do anything to get this to stop.

I’ve discussed it as much as possible with Zach, but he shuts down when I bring it up.  He doesn’t want to talk about it for long.  I remind him as I drop him off every day to be nice to the other kids, to tell the teacher if someone does something to him, and not to hit or push back if someone does something to him.

After missing recess yesterday (because he got caught hitting back the kid who “spanked” him) he spent nearly the entire evening in tears.  Every little thing just set him off again.

I’ve spent most of the day today trying to hold back my own tears.  For the last three weeks I have felt like there is a huge brick laying on my chest that I can’t shake off.  I certainly can’t keep him out of school, but I just want to grab him up and run as far away as possible.  I hate that I can’t protect him from all of this.  I hate that I can’t just fix it.

{ 2 trackbacks }

Slime! — Voices In My Mind
September 16, 2010 at 11:44 am
Heavy — Voices In My Mind
November 5, 2010 at 9:44 pm

{ 3 comments }

1 Randi September 15, 2010 at 12:08 pm

We had a difficult time with bullying last year with Toad, but I do have to say that we never had anything that severe. It disturbs me that the school has allowed this sort of problem to occur with children in kindergarten. At our school all of the younger grades have their own bathrooms, so only one child can go to the potty at a time – that would be something that I’d bring up with the teacher, only allowing one child to go to the bathroom at a time. I hope things go better!!

2 cagey September 15, 2010 at 1:35 pm

Ugh. This is exactly the kind of crap I dread. And was part of what I have been meaning to email you about to get your perspective. I will try to get on that!

3 B October 8, 2010 at 7:50 pm

We’ve had the same problem and my Zac has been in “school” for the past 2.5 years. This is the first year that we’ve transitioned into public school and my Zac has come home with notes saying that he’s hit a child or lashed out. When I asked him about it, he says that someone called him a baby because he cries all the time or mispronouced his name. He just turned 5 before he entered school and all of his classmates seem to be 6 going on 17. The boys are rough and the girls are cruel. I want to protect him, to shelter him and tell him that it’s ok, but I can’t.

Life has been very heavy on me lately. I’ve been rejected by two major groups in my life because I’m different and face different challenges. That myth that parents tell their kids, “It’s ok to be different. Just be yourself” is a load of crap. You need to fit in. We need to teach our children how to fit it. I hate it and I hate how negative it all is.

But bullying in Kindergarten, it’s very real…and I understand.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: